Selfish

Ruthlessly evaluating and judging

In paper

In performance

In human connections

Is scared of other’s judgments

The incommensurable half of me poses a challenge

A hurt was inflicted by the one half on the better half

In fact on the best half

For the best half reaches out , soothes , commiserates

Wears shoes, hats and gloves of all sizes and shapes

Fits as the fittest

Universally communicates

Completely harmonises

Ethereally cares

Haplessly wed to the callous whose

Vital incapacitated by the convoluted mind-body chasm

Energy nonflammable

Sense non-spontaneous

Paradoxically anxious while casual

Unnerved but not instinctive

Aware yet inoperative

Reflexive yet relaxed

Resonates infrequently with the cosmic

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Image by Brigitte Werner from Pixabay

The annoyance due to the mystical
Fear of transferring agency to the symbolic
Abhorrent of the illusory ravages

There I lay without my Vanguard
All alone soaking in the dark
Wishing for light

Alas!

My ignorance
I broke the expansive shoulders
Set ablaze the fire in the wrong cave

There shoots the axon
Frightening the fringing dendrons
As pain seers through the muscles of his body

There drops a tear
The rasa of the aggrieved
The mighty hurt by the tender

The tender deprived of the Messiah wreaks havoc
With rational arrogance
Which is subsumed within
The mystical ignorance…

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Image by bertvthul from Pixabay

When annihilation of the self is possible
Via the internal tug of war
Between who you want to be and who you have always been

When the indomitable spirit
Is nothing but a ceaseless crusade of self harm
Inflicted by the judgements of the avaricious surroundings

When all you have is time and no time
In the lookout for profundity
Dodging all the profane exercise of intellectual gymnastics

Deluded by nihilists
Awe struck by existentialists
Rejoicing in the irresponsible postmodern game of self pity

I took the forest route
With an atttidue of anthropocentric superiority
Over Nature’s (mis) perceived staticity

Low and behold!

I found myself in the lap of magnanimity
Facing the glorious sky
Pulled apart in multiple directions
Nature’s prakurata reshaped my ahamkara(identity)

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Photo by Anil Sharma: https://www.pexels.com/photo/fashion-man-love-people-10717004/

Ardha Naari who consistently longs for the soulful integration
Of the physically detached Ishwara

For all his cellular energy heals and comforts
While tissues weave a sense of womb to hide within

As energy pervades the mitochondrial houses with contagious exuberance Chitta brings annihilation of suffering via precision and awareness
A serene pathos brings peace to offset the ever-grinding mills of Karma

Is misperceived by the Ishwara
As the pretentious attention-grabbing Mohini’s act,
The inglorious games of power
The meaningless rants and rumination for drama

Let all dramas end
Bereft the beauty of life
Naari is no whole
Miniscule cells of her selfless self cry for more of Her

The more is lost in pain
Aching and bleeding
Beyond the brutal perception and violent views
Let Her at least unite in grief

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Ardha Naari…….

Ardha Naari who consistently longs for the soully integrated

And physically detached Ishwar

For all his cellular energy heals and comforts

Tissues weave a sense of womb to hide within

Energy pervades the mitochondrial energy houses with contagious exuberance

Chita brings annihilation of suffering via precision and awareness

Ethos brings peace for the evergrinding mills of Karma and thoughts in Naari

Is misperceived by the Ishwara

as the pretentious attention grabbing mohini's act,

The inglorious games of power,

The meaningless rants and rumination for drama

Let all dramas end

Beruft the beauty of life

Naari is no whole

Miniscule cells of her selfless self cries for more of her

The more is lost in pain

Aching and bleeding

Beyond the brutal perception and violent views

Let them atleast unite in grief

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Photo by Maria Orlova

Because it’s unknown
To the modern
Distant from thy self
The modern experiences ecstasy

In the chaotic pubs
In the jarring DJs
In the glarring lights
In the unknown male
In the shallow meets
In the hollow hugs
In the public kisses
In the loud debates
In the intoxicating jabs
In the stuff
In the extravaganza of the man made

Caught in the prison with neural meshes of messy thoughts
Caught in the never ending race grounds with bottomless tracks
Caught in the vicious cycle of need and being needed

Singing a sthuthi accidentally
Drawing a tangle meaninglessly
Treading a path casually
Moving in the rhythm of naatadavu while cooking
Mindfully yet mindlessly

With the awareness and joy of within
With lack of thoughtful brain

There are orgasms
When the cosmos within
Resonates with the cosmos without

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